小日子。

20岁。想爸爸。打电话。最天使。这就是我。
零散。消魂。迫切。噩梦。他们还在。
不曾否认过童话的美好，只是伤感为何现实远离童话。

机票。房子。玫瑰花瓣。
家这个概念仍然举足轻重。
我好想赶快拥抱世界，拥抱大地。在深海里飞，直到慢慢搁浅。
但是当仔细看着花从绽放到凋零的整个过程。
每个细节都不可或缺。
A SENSE OF BELONGING.
A BEAUTY OF LOSS.
A PAIN OF MATURITY.
A BREATH OF ALIVE.
A STRIVE OF CONQUER.
A POWER OF LOVE.
A FEAR OF NO ONE.
A KISS OF INNOCENT.
A STEP OF NEXT LEVEL.
如果人每天都不说废话，那么就等于每天都不说话。所以我的话很多。
20 岁的918时候。妈妈姐了婚。
20岁的学校，1对情侣卧轨自杀。
20岁的年华，不再傻。 小日子，天天放烟花。

batam hoho

A letter to dad.

daddy:

I forget when is the last time you said:"you are the prettyest in the world because you are my daughter" Now you only said "what is the matter with your body shape"

Daddy, I dont know all the bad emotion is whether from you or me..or both of us..

Why u dont listen to me and even dont believe me....I m yours, remember?

I have grown up and started to have my own life just like when you start to persue your dream when you were young ...

Our conversation becames going through emotions. How come...

I was so sad when you judge my looks like you judge your staff....or a normal girl ...

and I was so angry that u asked me to get marry soon after graduation.. If you are in a hurry and dont wanna support me here, I can disappear from u soon, or even now.seriously...

To be frank, your objective makes my heart broken.

Even my best friend said no matter what I did or How I look like or What color is my hair..they will still love me.

You ..are a shape to me .Darker and remoter with the time passing by..This is how I feel. I wish this is not the truth.

Can u feel that I ve prayed for u day by day?

Can not imagine you hang up my phone so fast.

Can not complain you have spend less time with me.

Can only love you because you are my father.

Can only understand all your stress...

Can only say sorry baba, I m not mature enough for being your daughter.

Can only say it is me can not tolerant you and your woman.....

U know what ? the chinese herb you sent to me almost burn my house...who`s stupid advise to ask u sent that to me. All those superstitions herbs with that stupid burning machine has almost killed me and my housemates.

Why you listen to all the bosh that woman told you but never listen to mine?

I can only pray that may Satan get away from u !!!!!!

Hope all this is just my imagination. Peace.

FORGET ABOUT IT. AND THAT`S IT.

GET A NEW ONE TO TAKE PLACE AND SHOW HIM I M FINE WITHOUT HIM.

GIRLS CAN TAKE OVER HALF OF THE SKY.

WHEN THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL.

WHEN U FEEL THINGS ARE DISGUSTING AND RASTY.

JUST DO LIVE A BETTER LIFE INSTEAD OF STUCK IN AN EMOTINAL LOCK.

THAT IS THE THING.

bluh bluh bluh.

my eclipse totally had no respond for today`s module .. i must uninstall everything and install again. stilll ... must reformat my laptop tomorrow.
the day be4 yesterday . 2 ppl got swan flu have been detected and quanratined.
i remove xiaonei, web for good. for resisting temptation and the source of rumour..
and baught a baskets set with 3 in it.

i have been feeling cold and dizzy for a few days. but i believe my spirit with God`s care will not be able to be attacked ....

止站之殇

这不是你主演的一场戏 　　

悲惨的镜头却永远定格 　　

你来到这世上赤裸裸 　　那婴儿的脐带缠绕过最温柔的母爱 　　

你离开这世上赤裸裸 　　那冰冷的绳索绑缚着最沉重的罪恶 　　

蓝天下的白云你曾唱过这首歌 　　

多少次仰望里互相有没有过承诺 　　

此时怎么飘然远去了 　　

让你在阳光下高高堕落 　　

大地博大的双手无力伸向天空 　　

摩天大楼文明的窗外喷溅着鲜血 　　

谁再双手托起当初圣洁的婴儿 　　

就只让淫邪与罪恶重重的摔下 　　

在十八层地狱万劫不复

i am done.

the time he blocked me.

the time he resisted me.

the time he said NO

i can feel his existing.

tears evaprorated in the air.

recently i came into a situation which when friends ask "how r u rachel", i v no idea how to answer back. seriously. its not a good thing to say "fine" but actually i m not fine. In the sense of an ignorance of all the loss? anyway bible tells u all the solutions.

right time + right person = couple. that 2 elements are indispensable.

u know what? i want to vomit all the worries and cry out all bad memories and start over .

LAST night i did it.

one more thing, 1year and a half, 10 boxes. leading to my new house, MY S i m coming!